


4:00am

by Neonna



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Prostate Massage, They're Switches BTW
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-08-31 11:50:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8577361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neonna/pseuds/Neonna
Summary: Yuri deals with some unexpected emotions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Note: This author's note contains spoilers of Episode 7. If you have not seen it yet, feel free to skip straight to the fic, which should be spoiler-free.** If it isn't, let me know.
> 
> If you have been following my [tumblr](https://neonna.tumblr.com/) you may have already seen this. I had posted it a few days ago looking for feedback (thank you to those who have replied, by the way!). It was initially intended as a longer one-shot. Somehow I knew that if I didn't finish, and post the completed fic before the new episode came out today, it wouldn't happen.
> 
> Something about the episode stabbed me right in the feels (and it wasn't the obvious thing that happened at the end). It was when Yuri asked Victor to believe in him a little more. Something about that line hurt...a lot, way more than a silly television show should ever have, but that doesn't change the fact that it does. So after the episode I had a shower, made some tea, and tried to curl up with a book. When that didn't work, I tried to work on some of my ongoing writing projects, but I can't stop thinking about that line, which is why I have to post this.
> 
> I have more written in reality, and I do hope to finish after I've had some time to process. In the meantime, maybe posting this for real will help with the unexpected feelings.

Victor was always gentle with him.

Yuri fixed his gaze on the ceiling, the lone poster of Victor he had forgotten to remove blurred as his vision wavered. He had both hands clamped firmly over his mouth to muffle the moans that bubbled up from the back of his throat. The wet sounds of Victor sucking his cock seemed loud in the quiet of the room, so much that it would have had Yuri blushing all the way down to his toes. Somewhere to his left, the red numbers of the clock beside the bed blinked, flicking to read nearly 4am, and effectively reminding him to swallow another whimper.

"Yuri." Victor's voice was a quiet purr in the dark. "Are you ready?"

His heart was hammering against his rib cage so violently Yuri was surprised Victor couldn't hear it. He felt himself nodding automatically, his cheeks warming because the dark made such nonverbal cues useless, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to form proper words either.

Victor's eyes were glowing in the dark, a brilliant blue that was reminiscent of the ice he skated on, and Yuri felt a chill work its way down his spine. Unlike the ice, Victor's eyes had warmth in them, and a patience that was never-ending.

A kiss was planted against the head of his cock, making him jerk and gasp at the contact.

"Yuri," Victor said again, and Yuri felt gentle hands on the backs of his thighs. "I need you to spread more for me."

Yuri swallowed hard. They had talked about this, extensively. Nothing that would happen was unexpected. All the risks had been researched, discussed, and then discussed some more. All their preparation still didn't stop Yuri's tongue from feeling too large for his mouth.

Victor didn't force him, he waited, hands on Yuri's thighs until Yuri steeled himself, and lifted his legs, folding his knees to his chest. Yuri was blushing again at the feel of being so exposed in front of Victor, but his idol said nothing.

There was the sound of shuffling, and the mattress bounced under him as Victor readjusted his position. The blue of his eyes was higher now, and Yuri could feel Victor's knees pressing against his ass as Victor knelt. There was a pop of a cap that made Yuri flinch. He bit down on his lip, determined not to make a fool of himself, but he still gasped when something cold pressed up against his hole.

Victor mumbled an apology that Yuri couldn't understand, the words unfamiliar to his ears. The cold withdrew. There were wet, slippery sounds as Victor rubbed his fingers together, and when the digits returned, they had warmed.

"I need you to relax for me," Victor said.

Yuri could honestly say that he tried. He took a deep breath, feeling his chest expand against the pressure of his legs, which only made him flush even more. Again, Victor didn't push him. With endless patience, he circled Yuri's hole with his fingers without pressing in.

Yuri was beginning to panic. Victor had asked him to do something, and he wasn't obeying. He was being childish. As soon as the thought crossed his mind he felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes, which only made it worse. In Victor's mind he was only a child, and he still hadn't worked out the reason why Victor had come to him in the first place. Yuri Katsuki was an international failure.

The hand that wrapped around his cock was like a tether about his neck, jerking him back to reality. He was startled so much that he let go of his legs, bracing his feet against the bed so he could rock up into Victor's hand.

"You're distracted, Yuri," Victor said, twisting his wrist, and squeezing precum from the head of his cock so that he was gasping. In the span of seconds, Victor had managed to make all self-depreciating thoughts fly from his mind in a fashion that always amazed him.

Victor worked his cock slowly, patiently while simultaneously keeping a steady pressure at his hole. Yuri whined out long and desperate before catching himself, and clamping his hands over his mouth again. A flash of white could be seen in the darkness, a wide, cat-like grin above him with just a hint of smugness.

When Victor's finger pressed inside him, the stretch was too much. Even such a tiny bit made him whimper, and he instinctively tried to wriggle away.

"Yuri, don't move," Victor warned. "Or you'll hurt yourself."

Yuri swallowed, and noticed that his hands were aching. Without holding his legs, he had taken to gripping at the bedding below him so hard he swore he could feel his knuckles turning white. He tried to do as he was told, but when Victor's finger pressed in deeper, a sob escaped him.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?" Victor's tone was gentle, and he rubbed soothing circles into Yuri's hip with his other hand.

Yuri wanted to continue, wanted it so badly. The warmth was still there, in Victor's eyes. His coach held no judgement, and it made Yuri's heart lurch. He wanted this more than anything, but there was no denying the fear that threatened to overwhelm him. A wetness slid down his cheeks.

"Oh, Yuri. I'm sorry." The finger inside him withdrew slowly, and before he could contemplate his own short-comings, Yuri was covered in warmth.

Victor wrapped his arms around him, and Yuri clung to him because if he didn't he would drown. His throat was tight, threatening to expel a tidal wave. Yuri's shoulders shook as he took refuge in the hollow of Victor's shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Yuri's voice was tight, strained with the effort it took not to burst into tears. "I'm sorry that I couldn't. I -"

"Yuri," Victor soothed. "Let's try again another time, okay?"

Yuri felt himself nodding automatically.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing like bearing the brunt of some unfortunate words to motivate me to write fast. I know I said this fic would be done after this chapter, but I kept having more ideas as I wrote. As it stands now, I am a little unsure how long this will be, but it will likely be around 3, or 4 chapters. Enjoy!
> 
> P.S: I know I have not been replying to comments for this series. I have been trying to keep up with comments posted in some of my other series as well as tumblr things. I read, and appreciate all comments, and appreciate everyone who has taken the time to leave them. I will try, and be more diligent about replying in the future! :)

Grey sunlight filtered in through his window, casting shadows, and hinting at a cloudy day outside. Yuri squinted as he fumbled about the bedside table in search of his glasses. He sat up, pushing the specks onto his face, and the edges of his vision became clear.

A wave of emotions crashed over him. Last night was a disaster. Yuri couldn't imagine Victor holding it against him, and that's what made it worse. No matter how much research he'd done, nothing was compariable to real-life experience. On the surface, their age differences weren't that great: Victor only held four years over his head, but socially they were lifetimes apart, and Yuri was feeling the effects of that gap.

He flung the covers off himself, making Victor moan in his sleep, and turn over, but his coach didn't wake. Yuri yanked his clothes on, pulled his bag onto his back, and tip-toed out of the bedroom.

The floorboards squeaked beneath his feet with each step, and he reached the front door without encountering anyone, or waking the entire household. He retrieved his jogging shoes from their place on the rack, and sat to tie them.

Images of the night before flashed through his mind, and Yuri grit his teeth against the onslaught. Tears, the tightness in his chest, fear. He'd been such a baby. The feelings threatened to overwhelm him again, the wetness welling in the corners of his eyes again, but Yuri hastily wiped them away in favour of focusing on the day's training.

The cool air helped to clear his head, and Yuri winced as he forced his stiff joints to move, walking the first few steps before breaking into a light jog. Gradually, his body began to warm, the stiffness from the night beginning to disappear.

Yuri knew he needed to change, but he realized that wasn't quite right. Yuri didn't want to change. Change meant becoming a different person, and there was something about him that Victor had liked in the first place. He didn't need to change, he needed to grow.

 

Yuri had to work himself up. The thought of touching himself with Victor sleeping just down the hall was nearly unthinkable. He felt bad, taking pleasure in someone other than Victor because he'd wanted to be faithful. Yuri dismissed that concept, hardly believing he had allowed himself to think such a thing in the first place. Masturbation was completely normal, even for people in healthy relationships. The idea that he was somehow being unfaithful to Victor by touching himself was not only silly, but something a child would think. He had a long way to go.

Even with overcoming his own hesitations, Yuri had found it difficult to find pleasure in himself. Of course he'd masturbated before, and of course he'd touched himself to thoughts of Victor, but now he was in the other room as a flesh and blood human. The pressure that Yuri was no longer dealing with a mere fantasy was a lot for him to take in.

After nearly a week where Yuri continuously found himself unable to get hard, he was at a loss for what to do. He gave up for the time-being in favour of spending much of the evening sitting on his rear. It had started in front of the television, and graduated to a refreshing dip in the hot spring. He did manage to resist snacking, a fact that made him a little smug as he headed back towards his own room, finally ready for sleep.

Victor's room, having not been intended to be used for a bedroom, was directly in the way. If he wanted to get back to his room, he had to pass by that of his coach. As Yuri made his way down the hall, he noticed that Victor had left his door open again, a persistently annoying habit that was going to get him into trouble. Yuri sighed, and was about to close the door when a groan made him freeze.

Victor was moaning, drawn sounds that made Yuri shiver. The walls were thin, and with the door wide open, Victor's harsh pants were clearly audible. There was no way – Yuri stuck his head into the room. In the light from the hallway, he could make out Victor on the bed. His coach's cheeks were flushed a bright red, and his lips swollen as though he had been biting them. Victor tossed, the sheets becoming rumpled, and dipping dangerously low at his waist where Yuri could see the outline of his cock.

A wet dream.

"Yuri – ah. Yuri!"

That was where Yuri drew the line. He slammed the door closed, and ran back to his room as fast he could. The image of Victor on the bed, and the sound of him moaning out his name was more than enough.

When he stood in his own bedroom, leaning back against the door, his heart was pounding as though it were trying to hurl itself straight through his rib cage. He palmed the hard length of his cock through his sweatpants, resisting the urge to moan out. His face was warm, flushed with embarrassment. He leaned his head back against the door as he pushed his pants down his hips, sucking in a breath between his teeth as the cool air hit his heated skin.

"Hah – fuck." His hands were cold, freezing as he wrapped a hand around his cock, and tucked the waistband of his pants under his balls. He gave himself a few brief tugs, shivering at the contrasting temperature that slowly gave way gentle waves of pleasure.

He could hear Victor tossing in his own room, a restless shifting upon the bed broken by the occasional moan. Yuri had to bite down on his fist so he wouldn't answer with a moan in turn as he worked himself faster.

He wondered if the wet dream had woken Victor, or if he was still asleep, wandering the dreams cape unaware of what his body were doing in the real world. What was Victor dreaming about, and would he come while still asleep as Yuri was known to do?

"Yuri."

Fuck, Victor's moans were getting louder. He should go over there, and wake him before he woke the entire house, but his cock twitched, dribbling precome from the head, and over his fingers at the thought of everyone hearing his coach moan out his name.

The restless shifting began to develop a rhythm, a sound that carried weight behind it. Yuri closed his eyes as the sound dredged up the image of Victor fucking him. His breath hitched as he matched the pace of the headboard banging against the wall.

He imagined Victor above him, cheeks flushed, and panting. What would he feel like inside him? Yuri felt embarrassment bubble through him again, but he forced it aside. He forced himself to really think about it. If a finger had been that painful, what would the entirety of his cock feel like? The pain aside, would he be warm, and pulsing? Yuri flushed. He wondered how much he would feel through the condom.

The rhythm was rough now, a harsh pounding that had Yuri gasping as he kept pace with his hand. The bed springs were creaking, echoing throughout the house so loud that it had to have woken someone by now. He wondered if they thought Victor was fucking Yuri.

It was that single thought that tipped Yuri over the edge.

\----------

Victor gasped, woken by his orgasm as it washed over him. He groaned, rolling his hips, and humping into the mattress as he worked himself through it. When he finally rolled so he wouldn't lie in the mess, he felt cheated. He had only experienced half an orgasm after all, and it hadn't even have any of the foreplay attached to it.

Victor rubbed his face as he tried to ink his dream into his memory, but he could already feel it slipping through his fingers. Yuri under him, teary-eyed and gasping as Victor fucked him deep. It had been so vivid, so real. He could still taste Yuri on his tongue.

Victor didn't know how to deal with Yuri's emotions. That night haunted him: remembering Yuri with tears in his eyes. He had so clearly been in pain, so why hadn't he stopped Victor himself? Victor didn't want to force anything onto Yuri before he was ready, so he focused fully on his skating. It was what they should be doing from the start anyway.

\----------

Yuri could sense Victor distancing himself, but he didn't have the time to worry about that. In between his skating, and taking up individual practice sessions in his bedroom, Yuri was busy. He wanted to impress Victor. At first he had wanted to show Victor that he wasn't a child, but over time it had become more than that. Yuri was trapped in a life where he was somewhere in between a child, and an adult. He wasn't an adult yet, but he wasn't a child either.

Yuri gasped into his pillow, and rolled his hips. After weeks worth of work, he had gotten used to being stretched, opening to accommodate one finger. It hadn't been pleasurable at first, but Yuri didn't push himself, ensuring there was no pain in the process.

 

\----------

Victor bit down on his lips as he lie in bed, not sure how long he'd be able to take it.

Over the past few weeks, he hadn't allowed himself into Yuri's bed, afraid he'd see the fear-stricken expression on his face again. Yuri hadn't reacted to this change, but it wasn't as though they had been sleeping together nightly in the first place. Yuri had been so focused, so determined about his skating that Victor let it slide. Until the nightly rustlings started.

At first Victor had thought Yuri was simply having a restless sleep, tossing in his bed, but soon the sounds followed – hitched moans that bled through the thin walls. Once Victor realized Yuri was jacking off, every night had become torture for him. He longed to see Yuri, his innocent little piglet all flushed, and panting. But Victor left it alone. If Yuri wanted him, he knew where to find him.

After weeks of listening to muffled moans coming from Yuri's bedroom, Victor couldn't stand it anymore. He was no longer satisfied with his hand, and the desperate, keening whines coming through the walls. Steeling himself, Victor hauled himself from his bed. He tugged on a pair of grey sweatpants, ignoring the pulse in his cock as he made his way to Yuri's bedroom.

Outside the door, Victor hesitated. Yuri's rough pants could be heard clearly now, and he rested his forehead against the wood, allowing the sound to fill him up. The palms of his hands were sweat-slicked, and he realized he was shaking. What was he, a teenager again?

A particularly desperate keen from inside had Victor moving before he could stop himself. His desperation to see Yuri cut through his hesitation like a knife, and he opened the door. For a long while, Victor stood in the doorway, his mouth open, and gaping at the sight of Yuri on the bed.

Yuri had heard the door open, and, instead of moving to cover himself, he opened glassy eyes, fixing his gaze on Victor. He had worked one finger into himself using too much lube. It dripped down the back of Yuri's thighs, down his wrist, and made a puddle on the mattress. Victor swallowed hard as he glimpsed Yuri's hole stretched to its limit already, but his little piglet looked far from pained.

"Victor..." Yuri panted. His eyes slid closed for a moment as he swallowed before opening them again.

"V-Victor," Yuri tried again. "Please. H-help me."

Victor's brain kick-started, and he cleared his throat. He started with closing the door behind him, and flipping the lock. When he moved over to the bed, he stared in wonder as Yuri still made no move to cover himself. Yuri lie with his chest pressed into the mattress with one hand wrapped around his cock, and the other working his ass open. Victor licked his lips, feeling something predatory rise in his chest as he kneeled on the bed behind Yuri.

"Yuri." His fingers itched to touch, but he restrained himself, instead reaching to adjust himself in sweatpants that felt impossibly tight. "What do you want?"

Yuri sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth, and some of the glassiness cleared.

"I can't cum. Please, Victor. Help me," Yuri whimpered.

"That's a good boy. Can I touch you?"

Yuri nodded, and with his permission, Victor smoothed both hands over his ass. Yuri's cock twitched, full and heavy in between in thighs. He was leaking precum all over the mattress, and Victor resisted the urge to tut. Yuri must have been trying for a long time.

"What do you need me to do?" Victor asked.

"I need you to..." Yuri looked as though he wasn't going to answer him for a moment, but then his expression hardened, becoming determined and he pulled his finger from his ass to spread his cheeks himself so Victor would see his pink hole winking at him. The sight made his breath hitch. "Finger me, please."

Victor didn't have to be told twice.

Victor brushed a finger at Yuri's entrance, watching his piglet gasp, and shudder. He coated the tip of his finger with the lube already on Yuri's skin, and pushed in a little. Yuri's hole mouthed at his finger, but he was too dry, and Victor didn't try pushing further as he pulled away, looking around on the bed. He spotted the lube by Yuri's head, and reached for it, examining the label. It was water-based lubricant, which made it be able to be used well with condoms, but it would also rub off skin faster, and needed to be reapplied often.

Victor was liberal with the lube, coating his fingers until they glided together easily, but didn't drip with it. He stopped before touching Yuri again.

"Tell me if anything is uncomfortable, okay?" Victor said, and he couldn't catch the expression on Yuri's face.

"I know."

Victor huffed, but didn't press the issue further.

This time he eased his finger all the way to the second knuckle, pressing against Yuri's walls. His piglet moaned out, and arched his back in a way that Victor had never seen before. This wasn't the same Yuri that had lie below him with tears in his eyes. Victor turned his hand until his palm faced the ceiling, and started a steady rhythm, watching as Yuri writhed and panted.

Victor wondered how hard Yuri had to work to stretch himself, even only this much. He was without pain, but Yuri's body was still incredibly tight around his finger. Too tight. On each outward stroke, Victor began to tug at Yuri's rim, trying to work the muscle loose. This action had a particular effect on Yuri as he buried his head into the pillow, and tried to push back onto his finger.

"Do you feel good, Yuri?" Victor asked, and Yuri nodded his head into the pillow.

Victor pulled free, ignoring Yuri's whine of protest as he applied more lube. He lined two fingers up this time, and began to ease them into Yuri's body. At the extra stretch, his piglet immediately froze up, tension bunching the muscles in his back, and the delightful moaning ceased. Victor watched Yuri closely. He still couldn't see his face, but as he pressed on, it was clear what Yuri was saying to him: no. It wasn't verbal, but it was there, irrefutably, and undeniably. No. Yuri was practically screaming it, and Victor watched him swallow, his jaw tensing as though he were gritting his teeth. Yuri wanted this almost as much as Victor himself, and he was trying to bear it, but his body wasn't ready; the same way Victor wasn't ready to see those tears again.

"Okay, Yuri." Victor braced the other hand on Yuri's ass, giving a reassuring squeeze as he eased his fingers out. They came easily with a sharp inhale from Yuri.

"Victor -"

"Quiet, Piggy. There are other ways to do this other than make you cry, don't you think? I want to make you feel good. So let me."

Victor plunged his middle finger deep inside Yuri, not able to hide the satisfied smirk when his piglet's surprised yelp turned into a drawn-out groan. Victor didn't give Yuri time to rest as he immediately set a quick pace, making the lube inside Yuri squelch with each thrust.

It was tricky because Victor didn't want to stop giving Yuri pleasure just so he could look for it. So he settled with changing the angle subtley each time he pressed back into Yuri's body. It was unquestionable when Victor found it, but Yuri's reaction surprised him so much his steady rhythm stuttered. When Victor brushed against his prostate, Yuri curled his fingers around the pillow he'd been kneading like a contented cat, and howled, a sound that echoed off the walls of the small room.

Victor shook himself while Yuri slumped back down onto the bed. He found the spot again, and rubbed at it, feeling Yuri tighten around his finger. So, he likes it.

"Victor," Yuri whined out. Victor could see a thin sheen of sweat coating Yuri's skin now, making the muscles on his back shine.

"Shh, Yuri. Relax." Victor leaned over Yuri's back to entangle their fingers. He gave a reassuring squeeze before guiding Yuri's own hand to his cock. Yuri turned away from him. Victor didn't miss the redness spreading along his cheeks, and down the back of his neck.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Victor asked. "Do you want to stop?"

"No. It just - it's good."

"I'm sorry. It's an intense feeling."

Yuri shook his head. "It's okay, I want it. Just... slowly."

Victor smiled. He had one hand braced on the bed beside Yuri's head, holding his weight while he fingered his lover. Placing open-mouthed kisses against the back of Yuri's neck, Victor moved his finger again, pressing gently, but consistently against against the hardened nub. Yuri writhed below him, squirming on his finger, and letting out small gasps. Victor couldn't help dropping his hips to press his aching erection against Yuri's ass.

"Yuri," Victor purred. "Stroke yourself for me."

Victor felt Yuri tighten around him again, nearly making it impossible for him to move.

The slick sounds of Yuri's hand moving on his cock could be heard, and Victor mirrored his pace, allowing Yuri to decide how fast he wanted to go. Victor sucked bruises into the back of Yuri's neck now, unable to resist grinding against his lover's ass, but Yuri didn't seem to mind. His moans were growing louder now in between panted breaths.

"Victor!" Yuri sobbed out, gripping the blankets with his free hand. His piglet suddenly went tense, his lips parted, and eyes fluttered closed. Victor hummed and milked him through it until a shudder ran through Yuri's spine, and he collapsed on the bed.

Victor pulled his hand free, getting to his feet to find something to wipe his hands with. After he cleaned his hands as best as he could, Victor turned to Yuri peering up at him from the bed. He looked wrecked, hair askew, skin flushed, and he hadn't even moved from where he lie in what was undoubtedly a pile of come.

"Yuri, let's get you cleaned up," Victor said.

Yuri's eyes flickered downwards, to the front of Victor's pants, for just a second. Victor felt his cock twitch under Yuri's gaze.

"But you're still hard," Yuri said. A pained expression suddenly overcame his face as he reached behind him.

"Yuri," Victor interrupted before Yuri could enter a spiraling mindset. "I actually had something else in mind."

"Huh?"

"Well, you might be an inexperienced bottom, but I am not, and who says that you have to bottom anyway?"

The way Yuri's eyes widened with the realization of what Victor said really was quite cute.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally have a new [tumblr](https://neonnawrites.tumblr.com/) Feel free to drop by and say hello!


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